7th January 2001 - 8:18 p.m.

I can’t leave the house these days without dealers approaching me for a little illicit commerce. Quite odd. Perhaps it’s because I have the affectations of a somehow dreadfully-debauched young thing, eager for whatever form of wide-eyed indulgence the world can offer me. There again, I have a terrible suspicion that it’s more likely to be because I have the appearance of one of the more virulent strains of Media Whore. Alas, my own social etiquette dictates that I must continue these code-phrased undercover exchanges…

-“Hello my friend, how you doing? What’s up?”

-“Oh, hello there.”

[We shake hands]

-“How you doing? How was your New Year?”

-“Not so bad, thanks. And yourself?”

-“Yeah, yeah... [Leans in] You want any greens?”

-“Umm.. I think I’m okay for greens, actually. [Pause. Smile.] You don’t have any coffee, do you?”